Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahani: A Tale of Narcissistic Mothers and Their Enmeshed Sons

[5 minutes read]

In the world of cinema, storytelling often mirrors real-life experiences and societal issues. “Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahani” is not just an ordinary Bollywood movie; it delves deep into the intricate dynamics of a toxic, enmeshed and narcissistic parent-adult child relationship, offering viewers a window into the devastating consequences of such dynamics on marriage and family life. Alia Bhatt and Ranveer have done an amazing job in this movie but my focus in this article is the dysfunctional family dynamics. So let us jump in and see!

The Art of Triangulation

The film masterfully portrays the concept of triangulation, where a family member is used as a pawn to manipulate or control others. In this case, the mother utilizes her son as an extension of herself, placing him on a patriarchal pedestal and fostering an unhealthy arrogance within him. This manipulation creates an estranged relationship not only between the son and his wife but also between the son and his own father, played by Dharmendra. The mother’s control over her adult son is so pervasive that it hampers his ability to empathize with his wife and daughter, who suffer in silence, trapped within the toxic dysfunction.

The Inflexible Mindset

One of the most striking aspects of the movie is Jaya’s inability to admit she is wrong. She clings to a rigid mindset of “I am right and everyone else is wrong,” and her unwavering “my way or the highway” mentality wreaks havoc on her family. This inflexibility not only hinders personal growth but also fuels manipulation and exploitation of family members for her personal gain. The mother’s reaction to feedback is also telling; she lacks self-reflection and often plays the victim, expecting her adult son to be her emotional partner while preventing him from leading a normal and healthy married life (emotional incest).

Boundaries: The Daughter-in-law’s Journey

Central to the narrative is Jaya’s daughter-in-law’s journey towards recognizing the importance of boundaries. Throughout her life, she has been conditioned to believe that it is disrespectful to disobey or say no to elders. Consequently, she leads a miserable and inauthentic existence within the toxic family dynamics. However, the film beautifully showcases her transformation(post Alia’s intervention) as she learns that it is not only acceptable but essential to call out bad behaviour. She discovers her agency and understands that she has the choice to step away from such toxic cycles. Her refusal to readily forgive her husband, even when he realizes his mistake and asks for forgiveness, underscores the fact that healing from triangulations, manipulation and emotional wounds takes time and forgiveness should never be forced.

Children of narcissistic parents are conditioned from childhood to put their toxic parent ahead of their own selves and are guilt tripped into believing their life revolves around how useful they can be for their parent. Protecting their toxic parent’s image sadly becomes more important than their own relationships and as I see the trend among many of my clients- even leads to divorce.

The Role of Family in Marital Harmony

The movie drives home the idea that a marriage is not solely about the couple; it also involves the family that often does the back seat driving. External family interference can strain marriages and make it challenging for couples to establish their own boundaries. The film highlights how toxic family dynamics can become a significant hurdle in achieving marital harmony.

“Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahani” is more than just an entertaining and romantic movie; it’s a powerful portrayal of the consequences of toxic, enmeshed and narcissistic mother-adult child relationships on marriages and family life. It teaches us the importance of setting boundaries, recognizing our agency and not rushing the forgiveness process. This cinematic experience offers valuable lessons for real-life situations, making it a must-watch for those seeking insights into complex family dynamics and their impact on relationships.

Narcissistic abuse in a nutshell-Double standards, Never ending unresolved conflicts, circular arguments that lead nowhere, zero empathy or consideration for you or your experiences, zero collaboration with you, gaslighting your reality, depression, anxiety, complex post trauma stress disorder, chronic lying & dishonesty, devaluation, belittling, verbal abuse, getting blamed for all the problems, being made to feel like you will never be good enough.

Are you someone who has faced such issues or know someone who may be struggling with dealing with toxic family dynamics? Please educate yourself about narcissistic abuse and seek help to set healthy boundaries to save your life.

I’m a certified narcissistic abuse recovery support life coach and I help my clients navigate complex relationships, heal emotional wounds and reclaim their life post abuse with self care and boundaries.

Ramya Shripathi

activate.you Life Coaching