Stop people pleasing !!!

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you tend to put others’ needs before your own needs? 

Do you feel bad saying No to others?

Does your self esteem depend on external validation?

Do you value your self esteem as per what others think or say about you?

Do you feel like you can’t be yourself around others?

Do you tend to bottle up your emotions and then break down unexpectedly ?

If your answer is a Yes to most of the above, it is highly likely that you are a people pleaser my friend!

Did you know that your unresolved emotions can set like cement inside your body and start showing up as health issues? Not a great feeling and how do I know this? Because I myself am a recovering people pleaser !!

If you develop thyroid issues, First question to ask yourself is this- 

Do I tend to suppress my emotions? Do I struggle to speak my truth?

When your throat chakra gets blocked , it shows up as thyroid issues and you can medicate yourself all you want but unless you start speaking up about your truth, your thyroid issue is not going to go away !

Is this a surprise for you or have you heard about this earlier?

Ok if now you know that you could be a people pleaser, so what next? 

Is it important to even consider changing this aspect of your personality ?

How do you release the pent up emotions from your body and mind?

Read on to know more…

People pleasing is often a product of societal or childhood conditioning that we need to be nice to others even at the cost of our own mental health.

This conditioning makes you prioritize others before yourself and the resentment starts to build up over a period of time for every time you have said Yes to others and No to yourself. 

The pent up anger starts poisoning your own body and mind and that is why being a people pleaser is considered a toxic trait. You end up with multiple health issues including anxiety and also depression when you are constantly trying to please others. You loose your sense of self and get exhausted by the chronic worry about what others may be thinking about you.

Not only are you being inauthentic but you are not prioritizing yourself. If you yourself don’t prioritize yourself, then how on earth can you expect others to show up for you the way you would like them to show up for you?

You will start noticing that people around you would use you like a doormat and start taking you for granted and this would further displease you. Yet you would not speak up and keep holding in the pain and anger for a long period of time.

TIPS TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING !!!:
-Start by saying No for smaller things- The bigger things will follow 
-It is ok  to be selfish at times and put yourself first
-Stop apologizing for everything and practise saying thank you instead (Example instead of saying sorry I am late try saying thank you for waiting up for me)
– No matter what others around you say, you do not need to carry the world on your shoulders. Let go off your baggage, set it down for sometime and give your body a break once in a way
– Your self care matters and unless you take active steps to protect yourself, no one else would bother about it anyway 
– You do not have to immediately give an answer when you are uncomfortable or unsure. It is really ok to buy time and get back after some thought. 
-Get to know your true self and what you value the most. If you are unclear about yourself, your message to others is that you don’t care about yourself anyway.  

Imagine each emotion that comes up in yourself going into different buckets inside your body. What happens when those buckets of emotions start overflowing? It needs to be released from your body in some way right?

The best way to release pent up stress and emotions is by giving yourself a safe place to just cry it out and vent it out of your body. So next time if anyone shames you for crying or being sensitive to your emotions, then just learn to ignore those comments. Listen to your own intuition.

Take out your journal and start making a list of your thoughts or emotions that you have noticed yourself suppressing.

If you had the courage to speak up, how different would your life look like?

Start visualizing taking your own power back and taking control of your own life.

Afterall you are your own hero and no one really is going to save you if you are not willing to take action today! (Including God !!)

So if you would like to sit back in a victim mindset and keep saying you are helpless and stuck- Be my guest and continue to do so while you watch your life pass you by . 

Imagine being on your deathbed and looking back at your life choices?

Are you going to be proud of yourself for the way you lived your life or are you going to regret your life choices and feel terrible about it?

Ask yourself what is your real need to please others? What are you hoping to get from others that you can’t give yourself?

You have the power to choose right now and change your life narrative to suit your life purpose.

You are here for a special reason on earth and you are not here to be anyone’s punching bag or doormat !

You have every right to say no and walk away from anything or anyone that poisons your soul.

Know your true self worth and stop trying to convince others to value you.

I hope this article wakes you up from your slumber and encourages you to take action today. You may connect with me to discuss more in detail and set a plan to correct this in your life. 

I hope this article resonates with you. If it helps you or if you feel someone else may benefit from reading this article, please share it with them.