Imagine you start running a marathon with the thought that it is dreadful , exhausting and boring. Would you be able to complete the marathon ? Chances are that you may give up somewhere in between and find reasons or excuses for not completing it. We can cope with anything we know has a certain ending. Telling yourself just 5 more minutes and pushing yourself has a higher chance of getting you to complete the marathon instead of thinking the entire actual distance that you need to run.
This happens to most of our tasks and goals in our lives. We start off with something only to get derailed, demotivated , distracted and we end up not finishing them. This becomes a chronic cycle where each time you fail at completing a task or a goal, your self confidence is lowered further. You have a choice to build a chronic cycle of demotivation or chronic cycle of motivation. Instead start focusing on your small wins which in turn fuel your confidence and make you feel better. Start believing that your willpower is unlimited. Motivation follows action so take that first step. Make little promises to yourself that you can keep.
Ask yourself:
- What do I really want?
- What price do I have to pay to get what I really want?
Watch the words and images that you are feeding into your brain. Your brain believes everything that is told to it- even if it is not true ! You can actually bend your own reality as per your wish using this technique. Instead of saying “I don’t want to smoke” if you are trying to quit smoking, say “Im not a smoker”. Only when you step into the character of the person you wish to become and start behaving and talking like one, will you have a chance of that transformation.
Replace negative words like “I can’t” “I won’t” with more positive and empowering words like “I could do this” or “I want to do this”. Change your language and change your identity. Say to yourself “I have chosen this”. Stop saying “I should” and instead say “I could”. Ask yourself what is the benefit of completing the task?
Your brain picks up words that you use and also visualizes the end result of what you want and pushes you toward that reality. If you are struggling to lose weight but not doing anything about it but just complaining that you have gained weight- will the additional weight just melt away on its own? No , it won’t. I’m not saying you need to start a grueling 3 hour gym session everyday to reach the weight loss goal. But instead of staying stuck, take one small step towards the final goal. Set a target weight that you want to achieve and by when and then break it down into small actionable steps you can take on a daily basis. Breaking it into smaller pieces is called chunking. The consistency of taking those small steps helps in achieving your goal. The small step can be as small as going for a 10 minute brisk walk or jog everyday. The night before, plan out and lay out your clothes and shoes so that your brain doesn’t give you excuses for not going for the walk. This strategy is mentioned in James Clear’s book ‘Atomic Habits’ . Take action everyday towards your goals no matter how small.
Getting sufficient sleep every night is also important to keep you charged up and motivated. Practicing good sleep hygiene is the foundation of self care and it is important to hit the reset button everyday. Also notice how you tend to get demotivated on days you are tired or overwhelmed. Try out the brain dump – the practice of writing down every thought, worry , fear, stress, plan onto a piece of paper. The brain feels like it has relieved some of its stress out of your system.
Stop trying to multi task. Our brain can focus well and complete jobs when we do it one at a time instead of trying to multi task. Our brains are wired to look for dopamine hits and rewards. The more action you take towards your goals, the higher are your chances of hitting the rewards. Dopamine helps us to stay motivated and strive to be better. Prioritize your tasks and complete those tasks that are important but you dislike doing them. Once you get that out of the way, it is easier to complete the rest of the tasks that are easier and which you like to do.
Delay gratification till you complete your job/goal. Else you won’t have a reason to do it.
Always remember it is ok to fail as when you fail you get better and you get to improvise.
Stop being afraid of rejection and failure. Start living a life where you show up as the best version of yourself and you are proud of yourself.
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